Why am I so angry?

Published
by
Anthony Thompson
on July 31, 2007
in Bitching
.

I was sitting here having a chat with Adam (a very short chat) and started thinking, You know, this shit with John has really fucked me over on friends.  I told Adam that I am thinking about starting to play Warhammer 40k as the Daemonhunters and all I got was a “right on.”  Now, I wasn’t expecting a party, but maybe a little interest would have been nice.  I mean, he immediately changed the subject to himself and his car and how it doesn’t have a good bumper or good speakers…  Ok.  I just couldn’t get interested in that.  How can I be interested in someone who doesn’t express interest in me?  What does this have to do with John?  I really think that Adam and Steve are starting to think that maybe John was onto something by removing me from his life.  It seems that I’m not part of any serious conversations anymore.  I tried to talk to Steve about this stuff with John and he just changed the subject.  I can understand him not being comfortable talking about that stuff, especially since he is good friends with John.

I think I was set off on this anger spiral by Adam’s comment to a note on Facebook written by Sarah.  I really don’t have any reason to be angry.  Maybe I didn’t like the apparent tone of Adam’s comment.  Maybe I don’t like how Adam appears (to me) to dismiss Sarah when Adam wants something.  Maybe I’m wrong.  I don’t know.  Not anymore.

Sometimes I get overly sensitive.  I need to stop dwelling on myself.  It’s kind of hard to do though.  I’m living with someone who straight up lied to my face for several months.  I was best friends with someone who actually hates me and will talk shit about me at any opportunity.  It’s really hard not to take things personally when you have friends like that.  I need to work on that.

That reminds me of a commercial that I saw about friends of people with a mental illness.  I’m not saying that I have a mental illness because I’m not into that whole create a new condition for every minor annoyance.  Sometimes I wish I had friends as supportive and interested as the guys in that commercial.  I know people like that exist because I’ve seen it.

God damn, I bitch a lot.  How do you stop thinking thoughts that automatically pop into your head?  *sigh*

Viewing 3 Comments

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    You've already taken the first steps. You've determined there is something about yourself you dislike. You've decided you'd like to change that something. Now you are trying to come up with a way or ways to change that something. For even getting that far I am proud of you. Doing even that is more than most people are willing to do. I live with Jason. He has had to change several things about himself over the last ten years as have I so I can understand how hard changing can be.

    John is putting Adam and Steve in a terrible posistion to have to choose between two friends. He is being immature and selfish but we've already determined that. You have done nothing wrong. Everyone thinks about themselves on occation, some more than others. It is human nature to be most interested in yourself. I know I am more interested in me than anyone else I know, lol. The trick is not doing so all the time. You've already learned this. A good example is the fact that you love Lexy. You care enough about another person, i. e. her, to marry her, charish her, and spend the rest of your lives together. That is saying something.

    Anger is a natural responce to any negative situation and I feel that these recently past situations merit a bit of anger, saddness, and other negative feelings. If you hadn't felt these things I'd have to ask why. Venting is a good thing. If you don't vent your frustrations they'll build and you'll blow up. The next thing you need to do is ask yourself is John worth spending anymore of your precious energy on? Quit worrying about him and concentrate on the people who actually care about you. Think about those who have been there for you through this mire. Above all now that you've had all those negative feelings you need to start replacing them with positive ones. You need to go out and make new, happy memories with different people who have nothing to do with John. This should be the happiest time of your life! You're going to get married to a great woman who loves you. Don't let a petty nobody like John ruin that for you.

    Here is one last thing sweety... Have a great day. Life is what you make it so have a great day. I hope this helps a little. Remember that I am always here if you and/or Lecy ever need someone to talk to, hang out with, or whatever.
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    I think that's a very good reply. I have nothing more to add.
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    I also think it is a very good reply--Thanks Becca!!
 

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