So, I realized that my previous post may have made some of you go “Uhhh, what?” So, I will elaborate.
Dawn informed Lexy and Natasha this past weekend about how John and Holly have been blaming our moving to Warrensburg as a cause for their lack of sex life and other forms of relationship degradation. I was informed of this mostly by Dawn, but with some helpful interventions by both Lexy and Natasha. I was also informed that John has been my friend because “he felt obligated to.” He was tired of my “high-school” lifestyle and trying to hold on to my friends from high-school. He was my friend because he saw all these other people leave me and he felt like it was his obligation to remain my friend. He didn’t want to end the friendship because he was afraid that I would use the information of his affair with Dawn against him. I have to admit, I probably would have.
Personally, I find this information VERY troubling. It is a very bad basis for a friendship. Also, given that I had NO idea about this, it really hurt. If there is one thing that I could wish for it would be to talk to John about this and get these facts confirmed. However, I doubt that it will EVER happen. It appears that John has used the incident where I was upset and said things that I didn’t mean as a way out of the friendship. I have to admit, probably a very good use of situation. If there is one thing that I don’t like, it’s being friends with a coward. If you don’t have the testicles to let a friend how you really feel about them, don’t bother. If John didn’t have the balls to tell his wife he cheated on her, then I should have expected there was some shit he wouldn’t tell his friends. If you can’t tell your wife (or husband) something so rather important, how can you expect that same person to tell his/her friends what he/she really thinks of them.
So, here is what I would like from my friends: use your proverbial balls and let me know what you really think of me. Also, if you are being my friend because you feel obligated to, let me know. Fuck, tell me whether or not you consider me your friend. I’m tired of being deceived.
I have a new lot in life. To become more successful than John. Shouldn’t be hard. I will end up becoming more successful AND in the public eye. I will show him how much I don’t need him by living a good life.
“Revenge is a dish best served cold.”
– Pierre Choderlos de Laclos (credited)
“Living well is the best revenge.”
– George Herbert
Of course there is also:
“Revenge is a confession of pain.”
– Latin Proverb
That last one, I agree with and admit is true (at least for me).
Oh, and the title of this entry is Latin for “While I breathe, I hope.” I think it fits, but I’m not exactly sure how. ;)
Lexy and I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End last night. I liked it and thought it was best of the three. Ow, those daggers shooting out of your eyes hurt! :P
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